sitting laying here tonight at my mom and dads, next to my hubby at 1:40 am on Saturday July 4th, 2015 and I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because I have BIG plans and BIG dreams racing around in my head (or it could just be the Diet Dr. Pepper I drank at 10:00PM). Anyway, I’ve been feeling lately like our lives-my hubby’s and mine) are in need of some BIG changes, some BIG dream changes. As you can see in my earlier posts, I seem to have planned my life and maybe even my career around the hopes of starting a family. I picked a career that would allow me what I thought would provide the best time off and nice finances to begin and provide for a family. Being a teacher would allow me to have the same hours as my children and to be home when they needed me. Now, going into education wasn’t all about starting a family but also because I enjoy cooking, sewing, and crafting. Teaching Family and Consumer Sciences would allow me a creative outlet to teach young adults these skills as well. These are skills that everyone can use no matter what walk of life you are from. I mean we all have to eat right? Everyone should be able to cook a healthy and nutritious meal for themselves or their loved ones. Do you agree? A large part of me chose teaching because my barely 19 year old self and even my now almost 27 year old self wants to fulfill that dream of becoming Daddy, Mommy, dog (can’t forget about Jack!) and baby. Lately though, I’ve been wondering-between my I’m so sad/mad/upset that I’m not having a baby crying sessions-if my dream of having a baby is hindering me or holding me back from the bigger and (sniff sniff) better dreams that God has for me???
Shopping with my mom and middle sister Friday, I wanted to go into a cake ship called Nothing Bundt Cakes in Baton Rouge. They sell nothing but bundt cakes (get it, Nothing Bundt Cakes…hehe cute, I KNOW!) and other cake making trinkets. If you have never been to one I encourage you to try one out next time you spot one. The cakes are delicious, and the shops are cut and quait. This store reminded me a lot of myself and the things I enjoy doing. It got me thinking, I could do this! Well…I WAS thinking I could do it until I saw the start up price of a franchise :0. Now maybe one day I could have the finances it requires or someone to invest in it with me, but there are a lot of other things I could do!!! Why stop at one dream? Don’t get me wrong, I will always dream of starting a family with my adoring husband. I will always dream of holding a baby, our baby, in my arms while I kiss his or her forehead and breathe in their sweet baby smell. I will always dream of watching my hubby rock our little one to sleep while he prays God’s blessings over their little life. That longing will always be there., but so will the longing of furthering God’s Kingdom. Maybe God’s plan for me to help grow his Kingdom is to write music and songs with my husband and travel the world like Hillsong or Francesca Batistelli. Maybe it includes me opening my own pastry and coffee shop where I can show his love to my customers and employees everyday. Maybe it includes this blog and helping others struggling with keeping a healthy lifestyle and infertility. Maybe it includes me being able to open my own Nothing Bundt Cakes. Who Knows??? With God though, I do know that nothing is impossible, and the options are limitless! I just have to stop being bitter and start being BLESSED! Looks like I’ve got some BIG praying to do.