sitting laying here tonight at my mom and dads, next to my hubby at 1:40 am on Saturday July 4th, 2015 and I can’t sleep. I can’t sleep because I have BIG plans and BIG dreams racing around in my head (or it could just be the Diet Dr. Pepper I drank at 10:00PM). Anyway, I’ve been feeling lately like our lives-my hubby’s and mine) are in need of some BIG changes, some BIG dream changes. As you can see in my earlier posts, I seem to have planned my life and maybe even my career around the hopes of starting a family. I picked a career that would allow me what I thought would provide the best time off and nice finances to begin and provide for a family. Being a teacher would allow me to have the same hours as my children and to be home when they needed me. Now, going into education wasn’t all about starting a family but also because I enjoy cooking, sewing, and crafting. Teaching Family and Consumer Sciences would allow me a creative outlet to teach young adults these skills as well. These are skills that everyone can use no matter what walk of life you are from. I mean we all have to eat right? Everyone should be able to cook a healthy and nutritious meal for themselves or their loved ones. Do you agree? A large part of me chose teaching because my barely 19 year old self and even my now almost 27 year old self wants to fulfill that dream of becoming Daddy, Mommy, dog (can’t forget about Jack!) and baby. Lately though, I’ve been wondering-between my I’m so sad/mad/upset that I’m not having a baby crying sessions-if my dream of having a baby is hindering me or holding me back from the bigger and (sniff sniff) better dreams that God has for me???
Shopping with my mom and middle sister Friday, I wanted to go into a cake ship called Nothing Bundt Cakes in Baton Rouge. They sell nothing but bundt cakes (get it, Nothing Bundt Cakes…hehe cute, I KNOW!) and other cake making trinkets. If you have never been to one I encourage you to try one out next time you spot one. The cakes are delicious, and the shops are cut and quait. This store reminded me a lot of myself and the things I enjoy doing. It got me thinking, I could do this! Well…I WAS thinking I could do it until I saw the start up price of a franchise :0. Now maybe one day I could have the finances it requires or someone to invest in it with me, but there are a lot of other things I could do!!! Why stop at one dream? Don’t get me wrong, I will always dream of starting a family with my adoring husband. I will always dream of holding a baby, our baby, in my arms while I kiss his or her forehead and breathe in their sweet baby smell. I will always dream of watching my hubby rock our little one to sleep while he prays God’s blessings over their little life. That longing will always be there., but so will the longing of furthering God’s Kingdom. Maybe God’s plan for me to help grow his Kingdom is to write music and songs with my husband and travel the world like Hillsong or Francesca Batistelli. Maybe it includes me opening my own pastry and coffee shop where I can show his love to my customers and employees everyday. Maybe it includes this blog and helping others struggling with keeping a healthy lifestyle and infertility. Maybe it includes me being able to open my own Nothing Bundt Cakes. Who Knows??? With God though, I do know that nothing is impossible, and the options are limitless! I just have to stop being bitter and start being BLESSED! Looks like I’ve got some BIG praying to do.
I know its been a while since I last posted and that I should keep up with the blog more, (Its been over 6 months and I’ve only posted once, YIKES!) but I’m going to give this thing another shot. On Wednesday I am starting a Whole 30. Don’t know what that is, check out whole30.com to find out more info. Basically for 30 days I will be cutting out all added sugars, grains, dairy products and legumes. Why am I doing this you ask? I am doing this because I want to be a better, healthier version of myself. I am doing this because I want to feel better, because I want to have children, because my body is a temple…. and I could go on and on and on. My future depends on me changing the way that I eat and the habits I have built around food.
It was brought to my attention the other night that there are certain food I get really excited about. Anyone that knows me well knows that the 3 foods that excite me the most are my my Mom’s chicken and dumplings, my grandma’s chicken pot pie, and CHEESECAKE! Talking about and even thinking about these foods makes me happy and my mouth starts to water!!!:) But that’s just it, I need to change my way of thinking so the healthy, unprocessed, good for your mind, body, and soul foods are the foods that excite and make me happy.
I tried a whole 30 about a Year ago and I stopped short after 3 weeks 😦 I’ve started diet after diet, Monday after Monday and each time it gets harder to keep going. I’m tired of saying I’ll just start again on Monday and by Monday afternoon I’m eating fast food and ice cream. This time it has to stick, which is part of the reason I am writing this post (and why I will be posting everyday for the next 30 days) I can’t do this alone!!! I will be joining Ceci over at Caffeinated Journey as well as posting pics of the foods we try on instagram @mrsmeaganwhitten. To help us out I’m asking that y’all send a lot of prayer and encouragement over our way!!!
My prayer through out this endeavor (which will last longer than 30 Days, the Whole 30 is just my starting point) is that God will use this lifestyle change AS my Miracle of Life. I pray for life in myself, that I might be able to do more for his kingdom because I wont be worn down by the bad food I put in my body. I pray for life in my husband, that he may be able to draw inspiration from me to be healthier. I pray for life in my friends and family, that they would be able to be encouraged in their health. Lastly I pray that it brings us a little life (a baby) to nurture, to love, and to teach all about living abundantly for the Lord.
And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns – Phillipians 1:6
This week I turn 26 (on Wednesday, September 3 to be exact 😉 ). Now I know that this doesn’t make me old by any means, but reaching the other side of my 20’s has made me look back and think about what I have accomplished in my first 26 years of life. At first glance I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t feel as if I had anything to show for the life that my amazingly, merciful God had given me. I couldn’t see any tangible results. Shortly after I turned 25 I was diagnosed with Insulin Resistance, which (along with other factors) has made my 3 year battle with infertility a rough one. Finding out that what I’ve dreamed of since I was a little girl, the part that will round out the plan I’ve had since high school — finish college, marry a loving man of God (these words do not even begin to describe the love I have for my husband) begin a career that will be ever satisfying, buy a house, and start a family– the part that will fulfill my deepest desires to nurture and love, wont be as easy as I thought is would. It left me feeling like a failure, but with the help of my husband and a nudge from a Francesca Battistelli song I’m beginning to realize that my worth is not measured in a college degree, the Love of a man, the products of a career, how clean my house is, or how many children I’ve raised. My worth is found in the Love of a Savior who died on a cross for ME, for all of us. We just have to let go, and let God handle the worries of our heart. We have to open our eyes and see the blessings being poured out before us. I have finished college, I am married to a man that follows and trusts the Lord, I have a career where I inspire and interact with people everyday, I have a home and a roof over my head, and family and friends that love and support me. My life is not perfect, but its MY life. There are good days, there are bad days, and there are in between days. So this week a new season begins. A season of hungering for a better relationship with God, others, and especially with FOOD! A season where I lean more on the Lord’s strength and less on my own. I trust God to show me the things I can change to be in a better position to see and receive his blessings, and I pray for open mind when he points those things out because he will! 🙂
Forever and for Eternity,
“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.” – Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)
P.S. : How have you been Blessed?